She drives me bonkers.
A little back story. We became friends a couple of years ago and then a little more than friends a little while after that. She was young and a little inexperienced at life when we first started hooking up, so back then I never saw a future with her. She eventually got her act together and is well on her way to become an educated contributing member of society. She now has a head on her shoulders. She goes to school on the other side of the country, and since this is Canada it might as well be another planet.
While she was away at school she landed a boyfriend. Good for her. While they are on summer break though they live in opposite sides of the country. They are doing long distance, which I think is remarkably masochistic. She says she loves him and wants to make it work. I say all the power to her.
Last night, however she wanted to go out for a couple drinks. Me being the newly responsible career driven indiviual I am now only had
Fast forward past, many laughs, drunken ramblings and go straight to the point where she is passing out at my house. (nothing like that happened, I do have
Friend (F:) I want to ask you something but I don't think you'll answer it.
Hero (H:) What?
F: Never mind.
F: You already know what I was going to ask.
H: You were going to ask about "us".
H: What do you want to know? You live on the other side of the country for 8 months and are unhappily doing a long distance relationship with a man you claim to love. There is no "us". We've been over this.
F: But what if?
H: I don't do "what if"s.
F: Fine how do you feel about me?
H: Why do you want to know? Does your ego need a boost?
F: I'm just curious.
H: I have no idea if we would work out in the long run, or short for that matter but I'd be willing to try.
H: I refuse to do long distance for 8 months of the year. So the point is moot.
F: I see...
H: There do you feel better or worse now?
H: Then why the fuck did you ask the question.
Why does she do this to herself? Is it because she needs emotional validation? Wants a back up plan? Frustrated with life? I don't understand.